It’s our nature, and it cannot be changed. Even if you try to become selfless in this world, it’s not possible, because only the one who is desireless can become selfless. And who can be desireless? The one who has had all of their desires fulfilled already. There’s nothing left to desire.
In other words, the one who has attained God has nothing left to desire. They become paripoorn (complete), atmaram (self-satisfied), poornakam (one whose desires are fulfilled). So they become param nishkam (absolutely desireless) because there’s nothing left to desire. They have perfect happiness. They have their Shree Krishna (Supreme God). That person, that God-realized Saint, can love others selflessly.
But us, before God-realization, what is the one constant? Desire for happiness. It’s always there. And it’s always going to remain until we reach Shree Krishna. And as long as we’re desiring happiness, we will create all the other hopes from other people and things.
“Maybe I’ll find my happiness here. Maybe I’ll find it here.”
Tulsidas Ji (Saint-poet Tulsidas) gives us a formula for understanding how love works in the world.
जेहि तें कछु निज स्वारथ होई।
तेहि पर ममता कर सब कोई।।Jehi teṁ kachhu nij swārath hoi.
Tehi par mamatā kar sab koi.- Ramayan
He says it’s simple. “However much your self-interest you believe is going to be fulfilled from a certain person, that much affinity you have for them.”
And this is our nature. As long as the desire for happiness remains, we will continue forming hopes from the people that we meet, wishing that they will be able to make us happy. And that feeling leads to the development of an attachment in that person that we experience as love.
We have that hope from others, and they have that hope from us. We know we are bereft of true happiness, and that’s why we’re hoping to get it from someone else. And they know they’re bereft of true happiness, and that’s why they’re hoping to get it from us.
And yet, we both allow ourselves to be fooled.
