Gaurang Mahaprabhu says to Shree Krishna,
आश्लिष्य वा पादरतां पिनष्टु माम् अदर्शनान्मर्महतां करोतु वा |
यथा तथा वा विदधातु लम्पटो मत्प्राणनाथस्तु स एव नापरः ||Āśhliṣhya vā pāda-ratāṁ pinaṣhṭu mām
adarśhanān marma-hatāṁ karotu vā.
Yathā tathā vā vidadhātu lampaṭo,
mat-prāṇa-nāthas tu sa eva nāparaḥ- Antya-leelā 20.47
“Oh trickster Shyamsundar (the beautifully dark Lord)! I know you’re very tricky. I know that. And You may behave with me in three possible ways. One is that You may love me, you may embrace me with great love and affection. Secondly, you may push me away, kick me with your lotus feet, and say,
“Get out of here, and don’t ever come back! You may behave in this way, or You may simply look through me and pretend You don’t even know me! just neutral, no love, no hatred, nothing, no reaction.””
“But, oh Shyamsundar, know this: I will not be dissuaded from loving you. You are mine, my one and only, and You will always remain my one and only. I shall love no other! No matter how you behave towards me, I will always think favorable thoughts about you. A gopi (cowherd maiden) says:
Some say that Shree Krishna (the supreme Divine Lord) is supremely beautiful. His beauty is such that even if the beauty of countless universes were combined and assumed a form, let us say a feminine form, then beauty personified itself would feel ashamed to go near Him, because His beauty defies the combined beauty of countless universes. That combined beauty bows itself before Shree Krishna. He is so beautiful, so handsome.
But others say that He is dark. And there is a foolish stigma attached to dark skin in the minds of many, and Shree Krishna played on that. When He comes to earth, He assumes a very dark form.
So some say He is not good-looking at all,
“But it does not matter to me what they say. Whether He is beautiful or not, that is not why I love Him. I do not love Him because He is beautiful. Some say that he Has unlimited, countless virtuous qualities. Others say that He does not have a single good quality. They say He is fickle, that He cannot be trusted, that He is a thief, that He is a flirt. Oh my goodness! What do they not say about Him? But it does not matter to me what they say, because I have accepted Him as mine!”
The gopi goes on to say that even if my beloved Shyamsundar puts an end to my life—even if He kills me with His own hands, I shall still adore Him! I shall look at Him adoringly as He suffocates me to death, because He is mine! I have accepted Him as mine, and I love Him, no matter how He treats me.
So, anukulyasya sankalp -always think favorably about the one to who you are surrendered to. It is easy to love someone who behaves lovingly. It is not so easy to love someone who behaves cruelly, or someone who pretends that he does not even know you.
Our own Shree Maharaj Ji used to do this very well. He would ask a person,
“And who are you? What is your name? Where do you live?”
And the devotee would think, “Maharaj Ji knows me. I have come here so many times, dozens of times.” Yet he would behave as though he had no idea.
After so many times, after so many years, after arranging my own residence in such a magical, Divine way, Shree Maharaj Ji asked me, after about ten or fifteen years,
“And where do you live? Which devotees do you live with?”
In my mind, I thought, “The ones you arranged for me.”
But outwardly, he would do it perfectly, “I don’t know. I don’t remember you.”
So it does not matter how you behave towards me. It is easy to love the one who behaves lovingly. It is not so easy to love the one who is neutral, and it is even more difficult to love someone who appears to hate you.
But this is a characteristic of self-surrender - anukulyasya sankalp (first one of six characteristics of surrender).
